Going through recruitment and joining Kappa Delta has been the best decision I have made at Ball State.
In high school I struggled with depression and was often told to “fake it till you make it.” I wanted to be able to hide what I was dealing with. As a result, no one would have ever suspected what I was going through because I was “so happy and funny.” My family was my biggest support system and who I trusted with these details about my mental health. I knew that when I began school at Ball State it would in no way be the same as having the full support from my family that I had back home. I am so, so fortunate to have parents who took time to learn, understand, and get me the help I have needed, but I knew that I needed a support system in this more independent setting.
So, I went through recruitment the fall of my freshman year. Being in Kappa Delta has been so rewarding but it hasn’t always been easy. However, sisters have been willing to tell me the benefits of staying, that they see my potential to affect the chapter, and that they wanted me for a reason. There were times I didn’t always feel needed due to my own insecurities, but I had to remind myself of the bigger picture. It isn’t always about me. What if I am here because someone else will need me? That is just one thing that encourages me to stay.
I no longer feel like I am “faking it till I make it,” and feel so comfortable around my sisters. That isn’t to say that I don’t “fake it” sometimes – by this I mean that I have to focus on being positive and such. Contrary to popular belief, my extremely introverted self did not pop out of bed bright and early during recruitment with a naturally positive attitude. Focusing on being positive has been so useful in my life and helped me love recruiting.
I know that I can break down and cry in front of my sisters and be honest about how I’m doing. I can also eat way too many McChickens and talk about Stranger Things more than the average person with them.
Through being a member of Kappa Delta I have gained confidence. I have had numerous sisters offhandedly say to me “your tweets crack me up” and as ridiculous as it may sound, it has improved my confidence. Of course I love the “you look so pretty!” compliment, but to me the tweet one means more, because it is about my personality and writing. It has made me feel appreciated to know that people like my sense of humor and look forward to what I post. Even deeper than that, Kappa Delta has given me the confidence and drive to want to be a better friend, student, and person in general. I am confident enough to be honest about who I am and how I am doing. I love being surrounded by such beautiful women inside and out and it only encourages me to be the inspiration to someone else that so many Kappa Deltas have been to me.